Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
