The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
