I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
