If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
