I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
