and you said cock pushups were impossible
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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