I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
