Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
