Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize