I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
