I can tuck mytits in my pants
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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