Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
