Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
