You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
