He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
my poor anus
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
