My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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