College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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