Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Quick, to the slutcave!
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize