we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
