I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
