I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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