Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
