Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
