He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
