it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
PANTIES FOUND
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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