I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
