I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
