i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
