I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
