we're blogging at a bar
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
