I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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