I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Girls should come with a carfax report
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
