You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
