white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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