ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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