so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
They have beer where we have blood.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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