My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
