yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
That accounts for only three of the penises
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
this hospital has no fireball
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
