Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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