I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
They should really pass out barf bags in church
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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