I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
