Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
