great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
