It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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