In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
