I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
