i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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