I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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