We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
