So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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