he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
