shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
