apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize