I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I lost the right to judge tonight
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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