new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
