guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
