Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
