I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Boobs speak an international language.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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