end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
