So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize