Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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