Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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