their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
