Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
