i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
