please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
