Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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