Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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