we have pet lesbian snakes
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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