He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
