She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
