You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
