HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
