are you still at the devil's house?
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
